[He doesn't seem offended nor particularly bothered by Yashiro's words; if anything, Sycamore seems...tired. This topic will never be an easy one, no matter how many times he and Lysandre talk about it. No matter how many times he thinks about what happened back in Kalos. What's done is done.]
You remember our last conversation? Where we spoke of their happiness.
[He knows he doesn't have to specify who he's talking about. Sycamore tilts his coffee cup back and forth, watching the liquid slide up the sides.]
It's not really our place to decide that, is it? But we naturally want to, because of how much we love them. We think we know what would make them the happiest, even if they disagree. When you desperately want what is best for someone...
[...]
...I know that it is hard. But please, Yashiro...stop fixating on how much you wish Doumeki was back in Tokyo, and instead...focus on appreciating every moment you have here with the man you love. When you end up consumed by what you think is right, you miss what's actually happening before your eyes.
I don't want you to learn that the hard way.
[There's an unspoken 'as I did' there, but...well, he's said enough for now.]
[ Yashiro listens, but the longer Sycamore talks, the deeper worry etches itself across Yashiro's face. By the time he finishes, Yashiro looks tense, but he reaches over and he puts his hand on Sycamore's own. ]
Look at me.
[ There's an edge to his voice. Gone is the playful way he usually speaks. His voice is deeper now, not the higher pitch he uses to pretend that he's stupid. He squeezes Sycamore's hand. ]
Tell me that you know Lysandre isn't better off dead than with you. Say it. "Lysandre isn't better off without me."
[Something about the change in his friend's voice actually compels Sycamore to follow his order, slowly lifting his head as he feels Yashiro's hand enclose his own. This isn't anything like how their conversations usually go; even when Yashiro had told him about his past, Sycamore had kept it together. It wasn't his place to break down. But now, when this all started with Doumeki being injured, he's...
...]
Lysandre...isn't better off without me. Isn't better off not being here.
[His voice cracks, as he says that, but he gets it out.]
...I'm sorry. I don't...this was supposed to be about you, I...
[Sycamore pauses, covering his mouth with his free hand and looking off to the side.]
...I'll be alright. Just...give me a moment. Then we need to keep talking about you, okay?
[Anything to move away from all of these...miserable feelings. Back to a place where he can be his usual cheerful self. Yashiro doesn't deserve to have to deal with this.
...but hadn't he and Lysandre promised each other that they wouldn't avoid the painful emotions any more? The thought makes him sigh, and his fingers tighten on Yashiro's. At least the Chroma production helps him refrain from just...bursting into tears in this cafe.]
[ He doesn't mind seeing Sycamore cry. He'd rather he be open and deal with this, than pretend that he's not okay. He squeezes Sycamore's hand as he talks, supporting him as he says it.
(Even if, support aside, he can't deny that it's incredibly hot to see Sycamore crying. Fuck, not now boner.) ]
It's not a competition. I think you needed to say it.
[The openness is certainly appreciated, at least, and Sycamore sighs deeply once again, looking down at their entwined hands.]
...you're right. Sorry. I've never been all that good when it comes to talking through my own feelings.
[He'll keep his gaze on their hands, but thankfully a soft smile is slowly spreading across his face.]
Do you know Lysandre and I always go and sit with the baby goats in the Groves, whenever we have to talk about something serious? So neither of us can react too emotionally, or get up and leave because it's too hard. It sounds a bit pathetic - we're grown men! - but it's been working quite well so far.
[Finally, he'll look Yashiro in the eyes; his are still quite damp, but to his credit, any tears have stopped.
(Sorry to any boners that may or may not be occurring.)]
I suppose for us, we can use this cafe, no? Whenever we want to talk through something that's a little on the overwhelming side.
[ He's surprised to hear it, when Sycamore normally seems to be so together. But maybe it makes sense. He and Lysandre have a long history. That kind of thing doesn't just get fixed because you end up in another world. ]
I don't know, I just come here for the cake.
[ Which has finally arrived?? so he's gonna eat that. ]
[You know, at least that makes him laugh rather enthusiastically.]
Of course! What better reason to come to a café, than the cake?
[Speaking of which, it does look good...he'll also start to eat his piece, while wiping those last unshed tears from his eyes.]
It's funny. You're the only person here I've told any of this - outside of Lysandre, obviously. I usually prefer not to, even to close friends! Do you have some sort of secret magical power?
[He'll lightly nudge Yashiro's leg under the table.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[He doesn't seem offended nor particularly bothered by Yashiro's words; if anything, Sycamore seems...tired. This topic will never be an easy one, no matter how many times he and Lysandre talk about it. No matter how many times he thinks about what happened back in Kalos. What's done is done.]
You remember our last conversation? Where we spoke of their happiness.
[He knows he doesn't have to specify who he's talking about. Sycamore tilts his coffee cup back and forth, watching the liquid slide up the sides.]
It's not really our place to decide that, is it? But we naturally want to, because of how much we love them. We think we know what would make them the happiest, even if they disagree. When you desperately want what is best for someone...
[...]
...I know that it is hard. But please, Yashiro...stop fixating on how much you wish Doumeki was back in Tokyo, and instead...focus on appreciating every moment you have here with the man you love. When you end up consumed by what you think is right, you miss what's actually happening before your eyes.
I don't want you to learn that the hard way.
[There's an unspoken 'as I did' there, but...well, he's said enough for now.]
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Look at me.
[ There's an edge to his voice. Gone is the playful way he usually speaks. His voice is deeper now, not the higher pitch he uses to pretend that he's stupid. He squeezes Sycamore's hand. ]
Tell me that you know Lysandre isn't better off dead than with you. Say it. "Lysandre isn't better off without me."
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...]
Lysandre...isn't better off without me. Isn't better off not being here.
[His voice cracks, as he says that, but he gets it out.]
...I'm sorry. I don't...this was supposed to be about you, I...
[Sycamore pauses, covering his mouth with his free hand and looking off to the side.]
...I'll be alright. Just...give me a moment. Then we need to keep talking about you, okay?
[Anything to move away from all of these...miserable feelings. Back to a place where he can be his usual cheerful self. Yashiro doesn't deserve to have to deal with this.
...but hadn't he and Lysandre promised each other that they wouldn't avoid the painful emotions any more? The thought makes him sigh, and his fingers tighten on Yashiro's. At least the Chroma production helps him refrain from just...bursting into tears in this cafe.]
everyone in chat said i had to make this lewd
(Even if, support aside, he can't deny that it's incredibly hot to see Sycamore crying. Fuck, not now boner.) ]
It's not a competition. I think you needed to say it.
i'm kinkshaming the entire chat
...you're right. Sorry. I've never been all that good when it comes to talking through my own feelings.
[He'll keep his gaze on their hands, but thankfully a soft smile is slowly spreading across his face.]
Do you know Lysandre and I always go and sit with the baby goats in the Groves, whenever we have to talk about something serious? So neither of us can react too emotionally, or get up and leave because it's too hard. It sounds a bit pathetic - we're grown men! - but it's been working quite well so far.
[Finally, he'll look Yashiro in the eyes; his are still quite damp, but to his credit, any tears have stopped.
(Sorry to any boners that may or may not be occurring.)]
I suppose for us, we can use this cafe, no? Whenever we want to talk through something that's a little on the overwhelming side.
as you should
[ He's surprised to hear it, when Sycamore normally seems to be so together. But maybe it makes sense. He and Lysandre have a long history. That kind of thing doesn't just get fixed because you end up in another world. ]
I don't know, I just come here for the cake.
[ Which has finally arrived?? so he's gonna eat that. ]
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Of course! What better reason to come to a café, than the cake?
[Speaking of which, it does look good...he'll also start to eat his piece, while wiping those last unshed tears from his eyes.]
It's funny. You're the only person here I've told any of this - outside of Lysandre, obviously. I usually prefer not to, even to close friends! Do you have some sort of secret magical power?
[He'll lightly nudge Yashiro's leg under the table.]
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[ It's nice??? Having someone to share things with?? ]
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Mhmm, that's true. But how am I supposed to keep up my mysterious 'French' charm if you know all my secrets?
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You might as well give up now. You can't be more mysterious than me. Gangster mystery tops french mystery.
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Tch! Fine, I'll give you that.
[Whoops! Did he just whip out his fork and steal a piece of your cake?? He did! With a grin!]
I can be a gangster too, though.
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...yeah, it's useless, now he's laughing as well. Laughter...sounds good. They deserve to laugh over something stupid for a moment.]
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[ He scoots part of his uneaten cake towards Sycamore, though. Fellas,,,,, ]
Here, try some of this.
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Ooh, it's really good! But all the cakes at this place are good.
[He'll promptly cut his slice in half with his fork, and turn his plate so that Yashiro can access it.]
You should have some of this, too. Go on!
[Fe...llas,,,,]
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That's good. I'll have to get it next time.
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I'll buy you a slice to take home. For listening to me be an emotional mess.
[He'll add one for Doumeki, too!]
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[Now have the rest of his cake before they have another Moment, alright.]
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[ he's got his own cake to finish!! stop that he had the taste and now he's back to his. ]
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Said like that would be a problem! But I warn you - if you enter a gift giving contest with me, you're sure to lose.
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[ I mean he was literally crying about doumeki dying just earlier, so. ]
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[He will actually finish this cake of his, though. It's excellent.]
I'm touched you felt comfortable enough to come to me. Besides, we've each done our fair share of crying on each other, no?
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[ he shakes his head but finishes his off, too. ]
Let's not make a habit out of this, I don't like crying. It's just because I've been up for too many hours.
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[He's smiling, though - fondly.]
No more crying, then. You're far cuter when you're laughing, anyway.
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