[Sycamore is the first to make it to the café - after throwing on a white shirt he hopes hides the dark circles under his eyes - and he waits patiently for Yashiro to arrive. As soon as he gets close, he raises an eyebrow and smiles.]
You know you're supposed to give me the chance to say you're always cute, right? Then I buy you the cake regardless of how you look.
[ Yashiro has left both his jacket and tie at home, so you know he's tired too. the sleeves of his dress shirt are rolled up, but at least he still has a vest on.
He just levels a stare at him and sits across from him, but his annoyance is clearly only the surface. Underneath it is a well of emotions that are rarely seen by others. ]
I'm going to eat the whole thing. I won't even save a bite for you.
[That's said with a grin, nevertheless, and Sycamore quickly has the appropriate coffees (with extra shots, since they both look like they need the boost) ordered.]
Fortunately, you won't get rid of me that easily. I have all day.
[ They won't need all day, though. For once, Yashiro wants to talk. He picks up the coffee and drinks it, staring down at the liquid quietly as he gathers his thoughts. Finally, speaking to the coffee rather than Sycamore himself: ]
[It's very tempting to counter that with 'you're not alone', but Sycamore...well. He knows exactly what kind of alone Yashiro means - the same one that slinks its way through his body when he stresses about Lysandre disappearing. Having to mourn him for a second time.
He sighs, and lowers his head, keeping his hands on Yashiro's.]
[ Yashiro puts the coffee down on the table and since the cake isn't here yet, lays his head down on it, too. He's sort of like ten seconds away from freaking out and having a temper tantrum here in public so he's trying to keep it in check. ]
Sometimes, I like this place a lot. And sometimes I hate it.
[Once Yashiro has placed his head on the table, Sycamore reaches out and idly runs his fingers through his hair. Keeping up the Chroma production should help, at least a little bit.]
It certainly has its benefits, but it tests us in many ways, too. You can only do what you can do, mon ami.
[Let's just exist here in a little bubble of...ugh, for a while.]
[...ah. The lack of sleep, of course. Sycamore falls silent for a moment, continuing to run his fingers through Yashiro's hair. Giving him a chance to let out what he needs to let out.]
[ that causes him to look up, locking eyes with sycamore for a moment while his brow furrows in worry. these things don't seem similar. doumeki being home would be a good thing, while lysandre... ]
You don't...really think that's being "free," do you?
[ Far better to focus on Sycamore than himself, at any rate. ]
[Sycamore is well aware that Yashiro is trying to shift the focus away from that little confession he just made, but he'll allow it, for now. No need to keep pushing his friend when he's clearly distressed and needs a moment.]
...it's what I told myself, to try and come to terms with his death. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I could not allow myself any other alternative. He died alone and in the depths of despair, by his own hand. The thought of him still suffering, after that....I could not bear it.
[Sighing, he takes a sip of his coffee.]
I know what it is like to watch someone truly dear to you in pain, mon ami. It does not get any easier.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[They have a 'usual', now...isn't friendship great?]
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See you soon
text -> action
You know you're supposed to give me the chance to say you're always cute, right? Then I buy you the cake regardless of how you look.
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He just levels a stare at him and sits across from him, but his annoyance is clearly only the surface. Underneath it is a well of emotions that are rarely seen by others. ]
I'm going to eat the whole thing. I won't even save a bite for you.
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[That's said with a grin, nevertheless, and Sycamore quickly has the appropriate coffees (with extra shots, since they both look like they need the boost) ordered.]
Fortunately, you won't get rid of me that easily. I have all day.
[To, you know. Talk about what happened.]
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I thought I was going to lose him.
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Why don't you tell me what happened? From the start.
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[ the longer he speaks, the quicker his speech becomes, his hands trembling against the cup ]
We couldn't tell what caused it, but there was just so much.
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[Sycamore is silent as Yashiro speaks, but he does reach out and wrap his hands around his trembling fingers.]
It's all right, mon ami. You gave him Chroma and he was healed, wasn't he?
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[ He looks at Sycamore's hand touching him, and then he looks up at his face. ]
I don't want to be here without him. I...I'm so pathetic, but all I could think is how awful it would be to be alone.
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He sighs, and lowers his head, keeping his hands on Yashiro's.]
You aren't pathetic, Yashiro. You're normal.
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[ Okay, that was definitely not the case, but he's more than happy to convince himself of his own selfish narrative. ]
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No, you weren't. We both know that.
[Come on, buddy....that might have worked months ago, but not now. Sycamore knows you far too well.]
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Sometimes, I like this place a lot. And sometimes I hate it.
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[Once Yashiro has placed his head on the table, Sycamore reaches out and idly runs his fingers through his hair. Keeping up the Chroma production should help, at least a little bit.]
It certainly has its benefits, but it tests us in many ways, too. You can only do what you can do, mon ami.
[Let's just exist here in a little bubble of...ugh, for a while.]
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I don't like this. I'm not supposed to have him, how can I be so selfish, wanting to keep him forever?
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You aren't being selfish. It's a natural feeling, to want to be close to someone you l-
[-he will....catch himself, there, and change to-]
-you...feel deeply for.
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[ a weak, pained noise catches in his throat and tears start running down his face, but it's really just the lack of sleep, that's all, ]
I do love him.
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It hurts, doesn't it? Such a sweet pain, though.
[A pause, then...]
Take your time. We can stay here all day.
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You can't think like that, Yashiro.
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You don't...really think that's being "free," do you?
[ Far better to focus on Sycamore than himself, at any rate. ]
cw: suicide
...it's what I told myself, to try and come to terms with his death. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I could not allow myself any other alternative. He died alone and in the depths of despair, by his own hand. The thought of him still suffering, after that....I could not bear it.
[Sighing, he takes a sip of his coffee.]
I know what it is like to watch someone truly dear to you in pain, mon ami. It does not get any easier.
That's the price we pay, for being in love.
the suicide warning is probably just a solid one for awhile here
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everyone in chat said i had to make this lewd
i'm kinkshaming the entire chat
as you should
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